"You don't even know the half of it, buddy"

One thing I love about this job is that I get to pretend to be a grizzled New Yorker who's seen and heard it all. We always have to take the guests credit card numbers, just in case something breaks. And a guest will always say something like, "What, you think I'm gonna put my foot through the TV or something," and that's when I glance down, shake my head, and mumble barely audibly, "in this city..." The key is to murmur ruefully.